My boyfirend and I have been together 6 years, living together for 5 of them and I'm crazy in love with him. He has a good longtime job that moves him around. I have given up career, health ins, %26amp; retrirement saving to move with him. He refuses to marry me and get me on his health insurance or provide me with security. He is afraid we'll divorce and I'll take half of what he has worked hard to earn. I was shocked that he thought I would do that, but one never knows. My family and friends tell me we've been together long enough that if he leaves me or dies, I could get half his estate anyway. Is that true? I don't want to ';steal'; from him, but I do want to know my rights if I want to continue the relationship. We are moving again and for me this will be the last time if I have no rights or security. He's 45; I'm 48 - too old to keep doing this.LIving together and need legal advice about rights?
In most states, common law and your rights to his estate begin when you have lived together for 8 years. At 48, you have only 15 years to build an IRA... not a lot of time. And, as you have said, you have no health insurance, and have built no retirement in a company plan.
For sure I understand his fears, but you can sign a pre-nup, in which you give up any right to anything he has now, and will have even after you marry. You're not young, hon.... lots of my friends' health begins to crap out in the middle 50's, right after menopause. Medical bills can kill you. Got one friend whose monthly drug bills are $2700.
I think he's being unfair, and the two of you need to talk with an attorney about ';What if we get married, and it doesn't work out?'; He needs to have LEGAL assurance that you are not and do not wish to destroy his estate.
(Frankly, however, he as well needs to provide for you if he dies unexpectedly, and his IRA, then goes to his estate, and gets given to charities that he named 20 years ago.)
Helpful?LIving together and need legal advice about rights?
In terms of his assets after he dies those will go to whom he has named in his Last Will and Testament. If he doesn't have a Will, then the statute of descent and distribution will supercede and the closest blood relative of his will inherit his assets. There is no common law when it comes to his assets. If he is afraid you will divorce him, maybe you should look into a prenup. But really, you don't have any recourse now. He is leaving you and high and dry! If it were me, I would consider staying put this time. Why should you upheave your whole life for someone who won't compromise at all for you?
yes you could claim half of what is his just as he could claim your half your common law man and wife after 3 years of living with each other.
If what you want is marriage and the security that goes along with it, and he does not want to give it to you for whatever reason, you are wasting your life on this man. In six years he doesn't feel secure enough in your relationship to make it permanent? You put a lot on the line for him and he is not willing to do the same which means you have done all the leg work and your relationship is not equal. Is this how you want to live? If something happens to him, you are entitled to nothing, so either create your own security for yourself or move on and find a complete and fulfilling relationship elsewhere.
You getting anything if he passes away is more if you end up as a common law marriage. Each state is different with the amount of years you have to be to get this though, and I think you have to be living at the same residence together (one, not multiple) for about 8-10 years. You would need to look into your state's guidelines for that. But other than that, no, you are not entitled to anything because you are not legally bound to one another. He would have to leave you things in his will for you to get anything. Sorry.
I cringe whenever some one start out with I AM CRAZY IN LOVE.
You should have never given up your life and everything you had for this man or any other man. I would think at 48 years old you would know this by now. You are too old to be making 20 year old girl mistakes in life.
Put your foot down and if he does not agree, move on with your life and never put another man before your better judgemnet, that's not love that's stupidity.
If you truly still want to marry him after he says this and if he was burned before in marriage I can sympthize(A little) Then make him feel better with a pre-nuptual agreement that states if the marriage ends he keeps his stuff you keep yours and anything earned mutually that is 'community property' because of marriage(things gained in the marriage) then it's split between you or however the attorney sets it up. You may be able to do it yourself but I'm no attorney and i don't know for sure. I think that would ease his mind and if that doesn't ease it then there's more to why he doesn't want to get married.
Horror stories of marriage and friends losing everything can work on a person's mind especially the older they get because it takes that much longer to get back where you were, if you can ever get there. With him being 45 and something did happen because let's face facts, no mater how much people are in love, things happen, attorneys get involved and all H$$% can break loose. He nor i'm sure you want to work until you're 85 because of a bad marriage. A prenup should solve those worries for him.
no more common law
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